Ready for Action/Transcript
This is an episode transcript for Ready for Action. Transcript (Scene opens at Bob and Larry's home, where Bob is sitting in front of the TV rather intently.) Bob: Larry! It's on! (Larry quickly zooms in and takes his seat next to Bob.) Larry: Whoooo. Woop-whoop! TV Announcer: It's time for "Officer 'Stache"! Starring Tom Celeriac! Officer 'Stache: Steal the cash, face the 'stache! Bob: Is there anything Officer 'Stache can't do? Larry: He can't not be totally awesome. TV Announcer: Tonight's episode, "Corn on the Cop". Peach Fuzz: Kick open the door! Officer 'Stache: With my 'stache! Bob: Yay! Larry: Yay, 'Stache! (Bob jumps out of his chair and starts pretending that he's a cop.) Bob: Freeze! I'm Detective McBob and I'm here for the bad guys. Larry: Don't move! The name's Detective Cucumbersmith. Hands in the air. Feet on the ground. If you do the hokeypokey, I'll take ya downtown! We'd be great cops, Bob. Bob: You think? Larry: (dramatically) I know. (Scene switches to the center of town, where Granny Asparagus is sitting on a park bench with her pet Cherry Cat, at the same time that a broccoli boy and a carrot boy are playing with a ball.) Broccoli Boy: Throw it to me! Carrot Boy: There you go! Granny: Isn't it a beautiful day in the park, Mrs. Fuzzyface? Mrs. Fuzzyface: (meows) (The broccoli boy throws the ball at the carrot boy, but the ball gets thrown too high as it soars across the air, before bouncing off the side of the gazebo, off the edge of the fountain, and right behind the two boys who are confused about where their ball went.) Carrot Boy: Hey, where'd it go? (The ball then lands right between Granny and Mrs. Fuzzyface, while Granny is reading a book. Mrs. Fuzzyface hops up to the ball then looks up at Granny.) Mrs. Fuzzyface: (meows) Granny: You're right, we should get home. (Granny closes the book and takes the ball with her instead of Mrs. Fuzzyface.) Granny: Now where are my glasses? Mrs. Fuzzyface: (meows) Granny: Yes, I'll make you something nice for dinner. (Mrs. Fuzzyface sits by herself on the park bench as she meows sadly about getting inadvertently left behind. Scene switches to Officer Wedge standing next to his police car while drinking a cup of coffee.) Larry: (Off-screen) Officer Wedge! Officer Wedge! (Larry zips up in front of Officer Wedge.) Larry: Boy and I, we- Cops are so cool! And, well- (Bob shows up as well.) Bob: Can you help us? Officer Wedge: What? Bob: We want to be cops like Officer 'Stache. Bad guys, explosions, one-liners. Would you train us? Officer Wedge: It takes a lot to be a cop. For starters, integrity. Larry: Integrity? Is that when you have a cool attitude like Officer 'Stache? Officer Wedge: No, it's always doing the right thing even when no one is looking. Like vacuuming under the furniture, or washing your hands after you go to the bathroom. Larry: Boring! Not us. We're ready for action! Action, action, action! Bob: Don't you ever need any help? Officer Wedge: Hmm. I guess I could use a volunteer helper every now and then. (Bob and Larry become excited when Officer Wedge tells them this, before Mr. Lunt's voice is heard.) Mr. Lunt: I want to be a volunteer helper too! I'd make a great cop. Bob: We're gonna be the cop helper! Mr. Lunt: Nuh-uh-uh! Bob and Larry: Uh-huh-huh! Officer Wedge: Boys, only one of you gets to be the volunteer helper. I only have one extra set of shades and a mustache. Whoever trains best, gets the position. Meet me in the courtyard, bright and early tomorrow morning. Larry: How bright and early? Officer Wedge: 6:00 a.m. Larry: There's a 6:00 a.m.? (Scene switches to Granny Asparagus arriving while carrying the ball that she thinks is Mrs. Fuzzyface. Granny puts the ball down.) Granny: Wait here while I find my keys. (When Granny turns around, the ball rolls away from her and falls off the top of the fridge, before landing in front of the broccoli boy and the carrot boy.) Broccoli Boy: Hey, it's my ball! Carrot Boy: We got it back without even trying! (The broccoli boy and the carrot boy leave after that now that they got their ball back. Scene switches to back on top of the refrigerator just as Granny has gotten the key.) Granny: Ha! (Granny notices that Mrs. Fuzzyface is not with her.) Granny: Mrs. Fuzzyface? She's gone! (Scene switches to the next morning, where Bob, Larry, and Mr. Lunt approach Officer Wedge in the courtyard.) Larry: So I says to my cousin- Officer Wedge: Ten-hut! (Bob, Larry, and Mr. Lunt becomes surprised when they hear Officer Wedge's voice, as Larry and Mr. Lunt bump into each day and fall over, then get back up again.) Officer Wedge: So you wanna be cops, huh? You think you got what it takes? It takes integrity! Mr. Lunt: Wedge? What's the quickest way to get from all this boring integrity stuff to being a cop in action? Officer Wedge: You want some action? Mr. Lunt: That's what I thought I said. Officer Wedge: How's this for action? (holds out a paper) Your first exercise is to properly write a report. (Officer Wedge hands the paper to Mr. Lunt.) Mr. Lunt: Hmm. This won't take too long. (Officer Wedge then brings out a huge stack of papers, which Bob, Larry, and Mr. Lunt are surprised to see.) Mr. Lunt: Oh. That's a lot of integrity. (Officer Wedge nods after that. Scene switches to Bob, Larry, and Mr. Lunt at Bob and Larry's home, writing the report assigned to them. Mr. Lunt looks over Bob's shoulder while he's writing, and copies what Bob is writing. Bob looks over at Larry, who just draws a smiley face.) Bob: I'm a bird-mato! Larry: I'm a chicken-cumber! Mr. Lunt: I'm a bird plus whatever vegetable I am! All: (laughing) (Scene switches to Bob, Larry, and Mr. Lunt now rolling across the floor on the papers.) All: Writing a report! Writing a report! (The three start jumping up and down, but stop when they hear the doorbell ring. Bob answers the door to find Officer Wedge and Granny Asparagus at the door.) Bob: Uh, come in. (Officer Wedge and Granny come in through the door.) Officer Wedge: Volunteers! All: Sir, yes, sir! Bob: You want our reports? (Bob hands the stack of papers to Officer Wedge, who just throws them aside.) Officer Wedge: Not relevant! I've got your first assignment. (Bob, Larry, and Mr. Lunt become excited when they hear that they have their first assignment.) Officer Wedge: Tell these potential volunteers about your cat, ma'am. Granny: Mrs. Fuzzyface is gone! Officer Wedge: Describe her, please. Granny: Well, I seem to have misplaced my glasses, but from what I can tell, she's a got a nose, a mouth, an eye, uh, maybe two of them, and a tail. Officer Wedge: Oh, man! And I went to the police academy for this. Mr. Lunt: Uh, Officer? Our assignment? Officer Wedge: Suit up! Gear up! Partner up! All: And? Officer Wedge: Find Granny's cat! All: (groan) Larry: A missing cat assignment. Mr. Lunt: Can't we go back to writing reports? Officer Wedge: Get to work! (Bob, Larry, and Mr. Lunt quickly run out the door after that. The trio are now in the town square trying to find Mrs. Fuzzyface.) Mr. Lunt: This is not exciting. This is embarrassing. Bob: Here, Mrs. Fuzzyface! Mr. Lunt: I don't even like cats... or cherries. Larry: Yeah. This isn't like Officer 'Stache at all! Mr. Lunt: Which, by the way, is on right now! Bob: We really should do our assignment. Right, guys? (Scene switches to Bob, Larry, and Mr. Lunt watching "Officer 'Stache" on TV.) TV Announcer: Tonight on "Officer 'Stache", the tables are turned when 'Stache and Peach Fuzz are framed and locked in prison! Officer 'Stache: If I can pick this cell lock... Bob: You guys think we can give the cat search one more try? (Larry jumps up and turns off the TV with the remote.) Mr. Lunt: We'll tell Wedge we tried really hard but has no luck. Since he's not here, he won't know the difference. You guys want a snack? (Mr. Lunt goes to the kitchen.) Bob: No, thanks. (Mr. Lunt comes back while carrying a lobster on a plate.) Mr. Lunt: This looks delicious. Larry: Hey, that's my pet, Chris! (Larry takes Chris off the plate) Oh, good boy, Chris. Mr. Lunt: That gives an idea! (Mr. Lunt takes Chris back from Larry again.) Larry: Huh? Come back with Mike- I mean, Chris! (Larry tries to give chase to Mr. Lunt, but ends up bumping into Officer Wedge, who comes up to the door while looking very angry.) Larry: Oh! Officer Wedge: You are supposed to be looking for Mrs. Fuzzyface. It looks like you are watching TV. Bob: (sadly) Oh, we blew it. Officer Wedge: What have I said about being a cop? Bob: It takes integrity. Larry: And that means doing the right thing even when no one's looking. Officer Wedge: That's right. A good cop gets the job done and doesn't need someone watching to make sure. But I'm going to watch you to make sure. Bob: (gasps) Got it. (Scene switches to Granny sitting by herself while looking very sad about missing Mrs. Fuzzyface.) Granny: (sadly) Oh. Mr. Lunt: (Off-screen) Granny? Granny: What? Who is that? (Mr. Lunt approaches Granny while carrying Chris the lobster.) Mr. Lunt: It's me, Mr. Lunt. I found your cat. (holds up Chris in front of Granny) Uh... Meow? (Granny becomes excited, but can't see without her glasses, thinking that Chris is Mrs. Fuzzyface, as she happily picks up the lobster.) Granny: Mrs. Fuzzyface! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! Mr. Lunt: No problem! See you later, Granny. (Mr. Lunt leaves after that, before Granny smells Chris.) Granny: You smell like a fishing boat. You need a bath. (Scene switches to back in town, as the camera pans down past where Mrs. Fuzzyface is standing on top of a building, before panning down to Officer Wedge talking with Bob and Larry.) Officer Wedge: Good morning, boys. Where's Lunt? (Mr. Lunt shows up after that.) Mr. Lunt: I found the Fuzzy-cat-face! Bob: When did you pull that off? Mr. Lunt: This morning. Officer Wedge: Good job, Mr. Lunt! What's the number one rule when taking the cop test? (Officer Wedge paces back and forth while Mr. Lunt reads off a small piece of paper that he is holding.) Mr. Lunt: (reading) "Don't cheat". (out loud) Uh, don't cheat! Officer Wedge: Correct! And now let's see what you volunteers are made of. (Bob, Larry, and Mr. Lunt become excited, as rock music starts playing.) Officer Wedge: Now, drop and give me 20! (singing) Hey, rookies Listen here to me There's a thing That's called integrity That means doing the right thing Even when no one's lookin' And if you show me a person Who's a real good cop You can be sure Integrity is what they got So be a cop on your block And make it your number one mission To have integrity Whoo! I love a cop who rocks! Integrity Be a cop who's wise And never compromise Have integrity! Oh, yeah! (The song ends, as Bob, Larry, and Mr. Lunt are now panting in exhaustion, as Officer Wedge approaches the trio.) Officer Wedge: Boys, you have completed training. Bob. Larry. You struggled but gave it you all and should be proud. But there can only be one volunteer helper... Bob and Larry: (gasps) Officer Wedge: ...and it's Lunt. (Bob and Larry become disappointed) You found the cat. You trained well. (pulls out the mustache and sunglasses) Congratulations, son. (Officer Wedge puts the sunglasses and mustache on Mr. Lunt.) Mr. Lunt: Thank you. (Scene switches to Granny Asparagus approaching Madame Blueberry while carrying the Chris the lobster, but hops past Madame Blueberry before coming up to a fire hydrant.) Granny: (panting) Madame Blueberry! There's something wrong with Mrs. Fuzzyface! Madame Blueberry: Ahem. I'm over here. (chuckles) (Granny looks at Madame Blueberry then back at the fire hydrant.) Granny: Sorry, Petunia. Madame Blueberry: Well, what's the trouble? Granny: My cat! Can you tell me what's wrong with my cat? Madame Blueberry: (confused) Your what? Granny: I'll slow down. This... is... a... cat. C-A-T. (Granny holds up Chris in front of Madame Blueberry, before Chris pinches Madame Blueberry on the nose.) Madame Blueberry: Ow! Granny: Hey! (Madame Blueberry runs off in pain with the lobster clamped to her nose.) Granny: Come back here with my cat! (Madame Blueberry runs back.) Madame Blueberry: Your cat is a lobster! Granny: (worried) Mr. Lunt turned Mrs. Fuzzyface into a lobster! (Scene switches to Mrs. Fuzzyface perched on top of a chair in the kitchen, before Officer Wedge drives past with Mr. Lunt sitting next to him.) Mr. Lunt: I sure like donuts. How about you? Officer Wedge: That's a negative stereotype and I don't appreciate it. But I do love donuts. (Officer Wedge parks his car in the center of town.) Officer Wedge: Go over to that shop and grab us a dozen, Mr. Lunt. (Granny angrily comes up to Mr. Lunt before Mr. Lunt can get out of the car.) Granny: Mr. Lunt! I've got you now! Mr. Lunt: Let's get out of here! (Granny jumps on top of Mr. Lunt, who bumps into Officer Wedge, causing him to lean on the steering wheel, which causes the police car to swerve out of control. The car swerves past Bob and Larry who are saddened about not getting to be cops.) Larry: This stinks. I wanted to be a cop. Now what am I? Nothing. (The sound of meowing is heard, before Bob becomes happy.) Bob: Larry! Look! It's Mrs. Fuzzyface! (Mrs. Fuzzyface approaches a nearby fire hydrant.) Bob and Larry: Let's do this! (Bob and Larry run out at Mrs. Fuzzyface, who screeches angrily before running off. Scene switches to Granny angrily confronting Mr. Lunt about what happened.) Granny: You turned my cat into a lobster! (Officer Wedge looks to see Bob and Larry chasing Mrs. Fuzzyface.) Bob: Here, kitty-kitty-kitty! Officer Wedge: Would you like to explain why I'm still seeing a cat on the loose? Mr. Lunt: (sheepish laugh) Maybe I didn't find Mrs. Fuzzyface. Granny: What? Bob and Larry: Here, kitty-kitty-kitty! (Bob and Larry still chase Mrs. Fuzzyface, who jumps up to the top of Pa Grape's Store.) Mrs. Fuzzyface: (meows) Larry: Good kitty! Stay! Mrs. Fuzzyface: (screeches) (Despite being intimidated by Mrs. Fuzzyface, Bob and Larry help each other up to the top of Pa Grape's Store. Bob and Larry make it to the top where Mrs. Fuzzyface is, as Mrs. Fuzzyface screeches again. Bob and Larry jump out at Mrs. Fuzzyface, but bump into each other when Mrs. Fuzzyface jumps down from the sign. Mrs. Fuzzyface tries to get away again, but Bob is able to catch her before she escape. The police car pulls up in front of Pa Grape's Store after that. Scene switches to Granny happily hugging Mrs. Fuzzyface.) Granny: Mrs. Fuzzyface! So Mr. Lunt didn't turn you into a lobster after all. Mr. Lunt: No. I'm sorry, Granny. I lied about finding your cat. Granny: Hmph! (leaves) Mr. Lunt: And I cheated. I did the wrong thing when no one was looking. Officer Wedge: I'm gonna need you to turn in your shades and your mustache. (Mr. Lunt reluctantly takes off the sunglasses and the mustache and gives them back to Officer Wedge.) Mr. Lunt: Guess I'll have to go back to my day job of having a different job every episode. Officer Wedge: I was only going to have one helper, but, Bob, Larry, you did the right thing when no one was looking. Here. (Officer Wedge puts the sunglasses on Bob and the mustache on Larry.) Both: (laughing) Larry: We sure learned about integrity, Bob. Bob: Yep, and now 'cause of that, we're gonna give crime quite a fight! (Bob and Larry give each other a high-five, before the screen freeze-frames while they do so. Officer Wedge comes by then leaves while sighing in frustration, before Madame Blueberry also comes by with Chris the lobster still clamped to her nose, before the screen goes dark, ending the episode.)Category:Transcripts Category:VeggieTales in the House transcripts Category:Finished Transcripts